Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
