i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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