mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
