you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
is it fun? or sober?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
