his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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