just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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