I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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