I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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