i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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