I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
