I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
pray to the hookup gods
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
