You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize