Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My vagina just recognized that song.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
