If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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