Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
