I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize