and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
