I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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