Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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