i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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