Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
