Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
