Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
