conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
