I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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