i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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