I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
