when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
