Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
