you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
