Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
