i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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