I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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