I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
