Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize