Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i already hear my dad disowning me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize