I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
