i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize