Please don't use social media to get back at me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
