he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
