hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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