he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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