Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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