what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
soo... how was my night?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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