awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize