I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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