Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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