he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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