used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
