Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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