Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
