nut hugger
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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