May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
