Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize