I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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