what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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