btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
