Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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