Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
