I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
