my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
