dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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