Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize